Bond, James Bond...

Did you know there are 22 James Bond films—23 if we count an unofficial one made in the 1980s—all produced between 1962 and 2008, and that the character has been played by 6 actors, with countless Bond girls, gadgets, allies, and enemies?

Weeks ago I began watching all the Bond films in chronological order. So far I have watched 6, and it has been a very entertaining experience, not only because I have been able to see how the film formula developed

Película = [James Bond x (gadgets + chicas bond) / villanos] + locaciones exóticas

but also because of the chance to look back more than 50 years and see how filmmaking, stories, fashion, standards of beauty, and the vision of technology have evolved.

Dr. No, the first film in the saga, presents a young but experienced Bond whose experience makes him the perfect spy. He is assigned an almost routine task and ends up uncovering a diabolical terrorist plan while making allies and somehow managing to seduce women. Although the formula for a Bond film did not yet exist, I like the fact that we are shown an agent sent on a mission with practically nothing, armed only with his ingenuity and intelligence.

As the saga progressed, it moved from espionage toward action, with increasingly incredible chases and fights. The enormous amount of sexual content is also striking; one might think it did not exist in that era, but Bond was a true sex maniac. How can someone on the edge of danger and about to save the world always be thinking about sex—even with female villains? And how common were condoms in the 1960s? Did he always have one at hand, even on missions in the middle of nowhere?

Besides their sexual content, the Bond films were truly misogynistic. Despite all his charm and appeal, James Bond was a genuine bastard who used women and treated them badly. If a character in a film today behaved like the Bond of the 1960s, there would be massive protests. But I suppose those were different times. I suppose that back then, when a woman said “no,” she really meant “yes,” and I suppose people believed that lesbianism could be cured with charm, as in the case of Pussy Galore. Among the many lines I remember is one from “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service,” in which “the Countess’s” father tells Bond to marry her because she has had many problems and what she needs is a man to control her.

It has been genuinely amusing to see the differences not only in social conventions, but also in standards of beauty. Of the first 6 films, I have liked only one Bond girl, the one in Thunderball. I did not find the others appealing in the slightest, yet they were supposed to be very beautiful women, since those roles went to models, Miss Universe contestants, or actresses. And of course Miss Moneypenny is a very elegant and attractive woman, but she is more of a mature lady, not the young secretary one might flirt with—unless, of course, you are James Bond and maintain such intense sexual tension with her that I am surprised she has not killed herself.

The special effects are obviously laughable. They were surely astonishing in their time, but today any teenager could make something of higher quality and upload it to YouTube.

Another interesting thing is seeing how much Bond smokes. In those days, cigarettes may have been a symbol of style and sophistication, whereas today they are clearly synonymous with cancer.

The Bond films of that era contain so many inconsistencies that it is hard to believe they were not deliberate. For example, Bond’s archenemy Blofeld appears in each film not only played by a different actor, but with different characteristics. In one film he is bald and has a large scar on his face, You Only Live Twice; in the next, he no longer has the facial scar, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service; and in the following one, Diamonds Are Forever, he has no scar and has hair. What is more, he is played by the same actor who played one of Bond’s allies in “You Only Live Twice,” and he looks exactly the same… what???

The inconsistencies, the impossible coincidences such as the spa in “Thunderball,” and the fact that the exact gadgets Q gives Bond are precisely the ones he needs later make these films a delight.

I have not finished the exercise yet, but even if Bond geeks may disagree, my favourite film is Casino Royal, my favourite Bond is Daniel Craig, and my favourite Bond girl is Eva Green. I want new Bond films noooooow…