The River

I have come to the following realization. Life is a river, always moving, flowing, and changing. Inevitably, the river carries me along; it is impossible to swim against the current. All my life, up to the age of forty, I have been swimming—wearing myself out, struggling to get somewhere. Yet I see people who do not swim at all; they simply let the current carry them, and some reach their destination without exhausting themselves. Only now do I understand that swimming constantly is futile. Along some stretches of the river, I should take advantage of the current and let it carry me; along others, when I feel I might sink or drift off course, I do need to swim.

I have been like this all my life: always pushing, always fighting, always trying to control and anticipate, always pursuing my goals aggressively. All it does is exhaust me and create friction with others. I have always felt like a fist striking a wall. I need to let go, accept that I am not always in control, and make use of circumstances rather than force them. I need to stop believing that everything is a competition and that I must always win.